Dating fear of rejection

You’re exposing yourself to the judgment of someone whose opinion matters to you.If they shoot you down, it feels as though they’ve passed judgment on you and your worth.She wants someone who’s cool with tons and tons of lizards.

The shortness of breath, the sharp pains that come with rejection, are real. On the base, primal level, rejection represents a threat to our existence.The problem is that letting that fear control you means that you will never succeed.No matter who you are, rejection is going to be a part of your dating life.As a result, we’re extremely conscious of signs that our relationship within the group is in danger; in the past, getting thrown out of the group was a de-facto death sentence.When you couple this with the inherent negativity bias that ensures we feel negative stimuli stronger and more profoundly than positive ones – we dedicate more of our emotional and mental bandwidth to the possibility of getting hurt.So much so that we start to fear it before we’ve anything.As over the top as this might sound, that fear of exile is manifested when we think of asking somebody out.Sometimes it comes after a date, even a couple of dates.And the most insidious form of rejection is getting ghosted.Part of why approach anxiety is so insidious is because we worry that we’re going to screw up so badly that everyone will hear about it.Now we’re functionally exiled from society because people will have heard the legend of how badly we got shot down.

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